Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Thoughts on Thoughts

This begins week two without boot-camp.  I have been walking/jogging on my days off and even made it to the gym once.  Whatever progress I am making I am losing with this bag of Halloween candy sitting next to me.  At least I'm staying ahead of the curve.  And seriously my jeans have a little saggy butt going on, and they're not just dirty :)  It's amazing to me how quickly I have gotten OUT of the habit of working out.  Dangerous.  I have not once thought to myself, "I missed my workout today" or "I feel like I need to go to the gym."  Maybe that comes after awhile, but for me without that class to get up and go to I have almost no motivation.  This is just good for me to know about myself.  On the other hand, I don't feel much better sleeping more so I might as well get up and work out.

Boot-camp starts again next week.  I won't be there.   I will be at a week long training in Fort Collins, Co at the Center for Loss and Life Transition.   Though this might not look like a lot of fun to you, it sounds thrilling for me.  The training groups are super small, less than 20 people, and the teacher is Dr. Wolfeldt, a renowned researcher, therapist, teacher and author on the subject of bereavement.  I feel very lucky that I got picked to attend this training (I think that is code for "I was willing to pay for it") and hope to bring some new stuff back to my work.  I am staying with some family in Fort Collins, which I am looking forward to about as much as I am not looking forward to the drive.  And... I leave Saturday and get home Friday!  That's a long time away from my boys!!  I am trying to really guard my thinking and focus on the positives and not dwell on the drive and being "away."  I'm thankful for a free place to stay, for the means to pay for the training, for the tax deduction it is, for some time away to chill out in the car, maybe even some time to read and relax in the evenings.

Speaking of my thought life, I have been loving the book Self Talk, Soul Talk by Rothschild.  It has been a fantastic refresher for taking my thoughts captive and changing how I feel by changing how I think.  I had an "ah-ha" moment when we discussed in group that saying untrue or hurtful things to ourselves ("I'm worthless," "No one loves me,") is SIN.  Let's call a spade a spade people.  The Bible is really clear that we are worth so much, incredibly loved, and forgiven.  Now sometimes our thought life can be somewhat of a reflection of truth-- though usually distorted in some way-- but is not helpful and is in fact damaging when we say it in such hurtful ways to ourselves ("I'm lazy," "I'm fat.").  So even if what we are saying is true, when we say it so awfully to ourselves we're not treating ourselves with the grace and respect that the Bible talks about.  We all know how to treat our neighbors, and that our mouths were made to encourage and build one another up-- and this truth needs to be turned INWARD, too.

Finally, we had a great time at the trunk or treat.  Dekker went as our dog, Josie, who he loves.  He refused to wear his costume all week.  Just the night before I put it on him and the only picture I could get he was tugging it off!  Suddenly, at the Trunk or Treat, he put it on and loved it!  Adorable.  We had a great night with our church family and do love this tradition.   Over 1200 people were there!  Wow.  Here is a picture to close this post.

On the journey,

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