(First, I need to give credit where credit is due and thank Leslie Leyland-Fields for her incredible book, Parenting Is Your Highest Calling and 8 Other Myths That Trap Us In Worry and Guilt. I believe this book is a must read for all women and greatly influenced my message on Sunday and the way I view parenting. Buying this book for yourself would be a fantastic gift that you are well deserving of. Oh Leslie, if you read this or ever listen to my sermon, know that I never intended to plagiarize on purpose-- if I did! I love your book so much that its words have become my own.)
Is Parenting Our Highest Calling?
Well if you joined us at Stonebridge on Sunday you will know that my answer to this question is... No.
But hang with me.
Matthew 10:37-39 (New International Reader's Version)
37 "Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me. Anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. 38 And anyone who does not pick up his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. 39 If anyone finds his life, he will lose it. If anyone loses his life because of me, he will find it.
Excerpt from Sunday's message:
The highest call of our lives today is the very same message that was given by Jesus to his disciples thousands of years ago. We are called to Love God... above all else.
As a church culture we remind ourselves often not to make a God out of money, or work or appearances. But our family? It is very easy to worship our family. In fact, I believe that as parents our biggest and never ending temptation is to unseat Jesus from his royal throne and replace him with our family. God calls us to an exclusive love for him that consumes our hearts, souls, minds-- all that we are. We need to heed the words in Exodus: “Do not worship any other God” (Exodus 34:14).
Hear me clearly, I am not telling you to love your family less, I am encouraging you to love God more.
So I spoke these words on Sunday and women all throughout the church nodded their heads. They understood that they want to put God first, even before wonderful and awesome things like their family-- God is WORTHY of being #1 in our lives. And any worship before the worship of God is misplaced.
Then today I got this e-mail from someone in our church:
"...It really hit home because parenting can be so rewarding, but so hard, just like life in general! And just a reminder of needing to put Jesus 1st!!!! Now the trick is just doing that!"
She is right-- now the trick is "just doing that." So this is my hope for community and discussion today-- HOW do we act out in our daily lives making Jesus our first priority? How do we still put Jesus first when our daily tasks are so demanding... when we are chasing children, wiping behinds, making lunch, running errands, cleaning house and changing laundry?
So think about this for a brief moment, hit comment, and let the rest of us know your thoughts. We might as well help one another on this journey, too.
On the journey.
Stef
Showing posts with label faith. Show all posts
Showing posts with label faith. Show all posts
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Post-Sermon Recap
"I will survive... I will survive... I will survive..."
I most certainly survived Mother's Day at Stonebridge. In fact, it was a kick. Here is a run down of my second Mother's Day.
Well, we still start the night before. Saturday we drove home from a wonderful mini-trip to see my folks and my grandparents, who had already drove 13 hours from Colorado to see us and Dekker. We got home around 5:00 and Dave was so gracious to encourage me to go lay down and rest, which I did from about 6:30-8:00. I got up and we ordered late-night sushi. You bet we did. I could think of nothing I wanted more, for Saturday night and for Mother's Day and for something to keep my mind of the next morning. Plus, I was pretty sure I could be to bed by 10:30 and I don't think I would have gotten to bed earlier anyway. SNL was a riot Saturday night, but I was pretty disciplined to go to bed before it was over because I had a few warnings that Sunday would be exhausting.
6:45: Alarm goes off. I turn it off. I go back to sleep.
7:15: I wake up and panic about what time it is. I can usually depend on Dekker to be a little "alarm clock" but he has been sleeping in lately, a side effect (glorious) of switching him to one nap-- he's "catching up" on his sleep at night b/c he doesn't yet nap as long as he should. Anyway, once I realize what time it is I start to remember the dream I had from 6:45-7:15. In my dream I arrived at the church and couldn't find my manuscript. Then, I realized I wasn't preaching to the big church, but in a side room for "children's" church, but there were no children in there... just a few adults, one who had a video camera that I didn't know. Anyway, I am a counselor (you know) but in all my education I have had one 30 minute lecture on dream analysis. And this is what I know... "Don't focus on the details of the dream, but how you felt during the dream." Well, I can tell you that during this dream I felt disappointed. So I had a little pep talk with myself that obviously in the back part of my mind that I WANTED to do this, and that I would be disappointed if I didn't. And that is true.
7:25: Realize last nights hair is not going to work. Stick head under running water and start over. Kick myself for not getting a new straight iron and am SO THANKFUL that I borrowed Beth's on Thursday. Life Saver!
7:45-8:30: Get dressed, make-up and hair and breakfast. Talk myself into wearing more make-up than usual, especially eye liner and lipstick, because heaven only knows that those lights on that stage are not exactly flattering. I ate oatmeal for breakfast. I reasoned that it was low points and that it would keep me full. I was correct.
8:45: Arrive at church. So glad I was early. I proofed the power-point and did find some corrections, namely the translation they were using was different than my manuscript.
9:30: Service One begins. I am loving worship. My husband, sister-in-law and mother-in-law are there. They are so sweet and I feel so incredibly blessed. I am standing shoulder to shoulder with our senior pastor, Mark. He is the only person who sings louder and worse than me, so I love standing by him. I feel like I can all but shout and scream my praises and no one knows.
You should know here that one of my greatest fears of public speaking is that my microphone will accidentally turn on during worship. I shudder thinking about it. My other fears are arm pit stains/sweat marks and having my zipper down.
10:00: A nice introduction from Pastor Mark and we're on our way. I felt great. I love public speaking, even though it really does make me nervous.
I most certainly survived Mother's Day at Stonebridge. In fact, it was a kick. Here is a run down of my second Mother's Day.
Well, we still start the night before. Saturday we drove home from a wonderful mini-trip to see my folks and my grandparents, who had already drove 13 hours from Colorado to see us and Dekker. We got home around 5:00 and Dave was so gracious to encourage me to go lay down and rest, which I did from about 6:30-8:00. I got up and we ordered late-night sushi. You bet we did. I could think of nothing I wanted more, for Saturday night and for Mother's Day and for something to keep my mind of the next morning. Plus, I was pretty sure I could be to bed by 10:30 and I don't think I would have gotten to bed earlier anyway. SNL was a riot Saturday night, but I was pretty disciplined to go to bed before it was over because I had a few warnings that Sunday would be exhausting.
6:45: Alarm goes off. I turn it off. I go back to sleep.
7:15: I wake up and panic about what time it is. I can usually depend on Dekker to be a little "alarm clock" but he has been sleeping in lately, a side effect (glorious) of switching him to one nap-- he's "catching up" on his sleep at night b/c he doesn't yet nap as long as he should. Anyway, once I realize what time it is I start to remember the dream I had from 6:45-7:15. In my dream I arrived at the church and couldn't find my manuscript. Then, I realized I wasn't preaching to the big church, but in a side room for "children's" church, but there were no children in there... just a few adults, one who had a video camera that I didn't know. Anyway, I am a counselor (you know) but in all my education I have had one 30 minute lecture on dream analysis. And this is what I know... "Don't focus on the details of the dream, but how you felt during the dream." Well, I can tell you that during this dream I felt disappointed. So I had a little pep talk with myself that obviously in the back part of my mind that I WANTED to do this, and that I would be disappointed if I didn't. And that is true.
7:25: Realize last nights hair is not going to work. Stick head under running water and start over. Kick myself for not getting a new straight iron and am SO THANKFUL that I borrowed Beth's on Thursday. Life Saver!
7:45-8:30: Get dressed, make-up and hair and breakfast. Talk myself into wearing more make-up than usual, especially eye liner and lipstick, because heaven only knows that those lights on that stage are not exactly flattering. I ate oatmeal for breakfast. I reasoned that it was low points and that it would keep me full. I was correct.
8:45: Arrive at church. So glad I was early. I proofed the power-point and did find some corrections, namely the translation they were using was different than my manuscript.
9:30: Service One begins. I am loving worship. My husband, sister-in-law and mother-in-law are there. They are so sweet and I feel so incredibly blessed. I am standing shoulder to shoulder with our senior pastor, Mark. He is the only person who sings louder and worse than me, so I love standing by him. I feel like I can all but shout and scream my praises and no one knows.
You should know here that one of my greatest fears of public speaking is that my microphone will accidentally turn on during worship. I shudder thinking about it. My other fears are arm pit stains/sweat marks and having my zipper down.
10:00: A nice introduction from Pastor Mark and we're on our way. I felt great. I love public speaking, even though it really does make me nervous.
Monday, April 12, 2010
Do Not Worry...
I would say that of all things that I struggle with, worry is at the top of my list. Now, I am a counselor. And I understand that some of you struggle with clinical anxiety. This is the same, but different. And we won't go into all the details, but I am pretty sure that my chemicals and hormones are at appropriate levels at THIS point in my life (it has not always been that way) and that my worry is actually a lack of faith. I feel like I CAN control my worry, I just make other ridiculous decisions instead and let my mind unwind into a world where I feel totally out of control and, honestly, half insane.
Here are a few things I am worrying about:
* The crack on our front step. I am worried that it's going to keep separating until it's a huge abiss I have to leap over and may eventually find a child fallen into.
* That the weird dry skin spots on my son really aren't dry skin, and that all the medical professionals telling me that are really thinking in the back of their head "this is really unfortunate. We need to keep an eye on this one, it could be really bad but I don't want to scare this already anxious mom until I'm sure."
* That my dog, who suddenly likes walking on a leash and obeys on walks, is doing so because she is sick, weak and going to die. I can't imagine life without Josie.
* I'm afraid that even though I am back to my pre-pregnancy weight that I am actually far from my pre-pregnancy shape and that no one has the guts to tell me (and please don't start now).
* The same fears that probably every mom and wife has-- that something is going to happen to Dave or Dekker or even myself. I can't imagine Dekker growing up without me or Dave. Or growing old without Dave. Ug... tears.
* That something is going to happen to my parents, our siblings, etc. I in a large part must fear death. Though I know in my heart it is not to be feared, I just fear being left behind when other people die.
* I am in a constant battle to pay off all our debt and save because I worry one of us will lose our jobs, or that I will only have three clients one week (wait, that already happened) or that I will have six cancellations the first nice week of spring (oh wait, that already happened too).
* I worry that Dekker will rebel. From his parents and the church.
* That all the crap I have on Craigslist is not going to sell and that it will junk out my backyard all summer, even after I pay the landscaping man good money.
* That I will royally embarrass myself when I "preach" on Mother's Day at Stonebridge.
And here's the deal. I know people where all these things have happened. And it was AWFUL at the moment. And some of it is still AWFUL. But I have learned a lot by watching people somehow SURVIVE all of this, with great friends, family and faith.
I once heard a speaker, Dean Trune, suggest that worry is a form of atheism. Pretty strong language. However, there is something to be said that when I really BELIEVE GOD that I don't have to worry. I remember that I have a God who loves me, who wants what's best for me (even if best does not equal easy),who hurts when I hurt, and who promises that he's going to take care of me. If I can honestly allow myself to REST in this than I don't have to worry. Isn't worry the opposite of rest? Worry makes me exhausted! I feel that when I get to the point that I say "I can't do this anymore" that God says "Good. Put me in. You could have put me in a long time ago, and saved yourself days of worry and nights of sleeplessness, but I'm still ready now." Ah, this has happened to me so many times that I think I am finally starting to learn my lesson.
Oh, and I am back on the WW train. I have once again proved to myself that I can not "watch what I eat" with much success. I just watch the food go right in. Next weigh in: Friday AM.
On the journey,
Stef
Here are a few things I am worrying about:
* The crack on our front step. I am worried that it's going to keep separating until it's a huge abiss I have to leap over and may eventually find a child fallen into.
* That the weird dry skin spots on my son really aren't dry skin, and that all the medical professionals telling me that are really thinking in the back of their head "this is really unfortunate. We need to keep an eye on this one, it could be really bad but I don't want to scare this already anxious mom until I'm sure."
* That my dog, who suddenly likes walking on a leash and obeys on walks, is doing so because she is sick, weak and going to die. I can't imagine life without Josie.
* I'm afraid that even though I am back to my pre-pregnancy weight that I am actually far from my pre-pregnancy shape and that no one has the guts to tell me (and please don't start now).
* The same fears that probably every mom and wife has-- that something is going to happen to Dave or Dekker or even myself. I can't imagine Dekker growing up without me or Dave. Or growing old without Dave. Ug... tears.
* That something is going to happen to my parents, our siblings, etc. I in a large part must fear death. Though I know in my heart it is not to be feared, I just fear being left behind when other people die.
* I am in a constant battle to pay off all our debt and save because I worry one of us will lose our jobs, or that I will only have three clients one week (wait, that already happened) or that I will have six cancellations the first nice week of spring (oh wait, that already happened too).
* I worry that Dekker will rebel. From his parents and the church.
* That all the crap I have on Craigslist is not going to sell and that it will junk out my backyard all summer, even after I pay the landscaping man good money.
* That I will royally embarrass myself when I "preach" on Mother's Day at Stonebridge.
And here's the deal. I know people where all these things have happened. And it was AWFUL at the moment. And some of it is still AWFUL. But I have learned a lot by watching people somehow SURVIVE all of this, with great friends, family and faith.
I once heard a speaker, Dean Trune, suggest that worry is a form of atheism. Pretty strong language. However, there is something to be said that when I really BELIEVE GOD that I don't have to worry. I remember that I have a God who loves me, who wants what's best for me (even if best does not equal easy),who hurts when I hurt, and who promises that he's going to take care of me. If I can honestly allow myself to REST in this than I don't have to worry. Isn't worry the opposite of rest? Worry makes me exhausted! I feel that when I get to the point that I say "I can't do this anymore" that God says "Good. Put me in. You could have put me in a long time ago, and saved yourself days of worry and nights of sleeplessness, but I'm still ready now." Ah, this has happened to me so many times that I think I am finally starting to learn my lesson.
Oh, and I am back on the WW train. I have once again proved to myself that I can not "watch what I eat" with much success. I just watch the food go right in. Next weigh in: Friday AM.
On the journey,
Stef
Friday, April 2, 2010
Easter Eve Eve
Well, tonight is the eve of Easter eve. It's Friday night and I know that with the excitement of the party and company on Saturday night that I won't get on this blog. Anyway, a few thoughts here...
Easter has always been my favorite holiday. I love the promise of eternal life that Easter represents. I think of Easter nearly every time I take communion and every time I go to a funeral. But I also love the promise of New Life that Easter represents for the today. If our culture would allow it, I think I would switch how I celebrate Easter with Christmas... with lavish dinners, presents and celebrations, getting together with family, lots of parties, etc. I do love Christmas, but I love Easter, too. So anyway, I hope to make this fantastic holiday, Easter, a BIG DEAL at our house.
There have been two times in my life that I felt an incredible sense of victory in Jesus. One was when the twins were born.
Easter has always been my favorite holiday. I love the promise of eternal life that Easter represents. I think of Easter nearly every time I take communion and every time I go to a funeral. But I also love the promise of New Life that Easter represents for the today. If our culture would allow it, I think I would switch how I celebrate Easter with Christmas... with lavish dinners, presents and celebrations, getting together with family, lots of parties, etc. I do love Christmas, but I love Easter, too. So anyway, I hope to make this fantastic holiday, Easter, a BIG DEAL at our house.
There have been two times in my life that I felt an incredible sense of victory in Jesus. One was when the twins were born.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
From one Mae to another...
Today is the one year anniversary of my Grandma Soden's passing. I loved her so much (and we share the same middle name, Mae). She was so incredibly special to me, and I hope to write more as I process this day. But for now I wanted to leave the eulogy I wrote and read at her funeral:
I am honored that Grandma and her kids have asked me to speak today, but let me confess… putting Grandma into words has been one of the hardest tasks I’ve ever been asked to do. I have asked many of you for input and I thank you greatly. I have prayed, tossed and turned, written, deleted and rewritten again. And still, I may not summarize it all. Simply put, there’s too much about Grandma to fit into this time, but I will try. And what I have forgotten, and the memories you have that you want to share, I hope will be the background music for the rest of this weekend, and years to come.
Let’s talk about the woman Grandma was:
Grandma was a fabulous cook, wasn’t she? In our home, we have all kinds of little tricks that she taught my mom and me. Together as a family, we have all kinds of recipes, smells, and traditions that started at her stove. Cinnamon Rolls, home-made dinner rolls, Chicken and Noodles, and true home cooked meals around her dinner table or out on the deck just to mention a few. Many of the grands and great-grands like Andrea and Ellie will also remind you of the vanilla and fudge swirl sundae cups she kept at her house. Grandma was never short on love, but she wasn’t short on great food, either!
Grandma was your biggest fan. If I had to guess, I would say that Grandma was present at at least one important event of every person here—and more likely, dozens of events that she may or may not have traveled hundreds of miles to attend. I love that Grandma loved watching us do ‘our thing’—maybe it was a ball game, a recital, a holiday or birthday or graduation, a wedding or shower—for you, your kids or your grandkids-- if there was any possible way Grandma could be there she was. Her love and pride for her family went beyond events though-- I think Becky said it best, “she made me feel special for who I am on the inside...and while she always was proud of her family's enormous personal and professional achievements, she seemed to know that they are really only minor considerations when it comes to the beauty that lies within…”
Grandma was selfless—in fact, probably one of the most selfless people you have ever known or will know. What truly made her happy was getting to experience the joy of the people she loved. When I first consulted my OB about traveling in late pregnancy, I cried. And she said “oh sweety, would this be your grandma’s first great-grandkid?” I laughed. “No, it would be her 29th, but if you know Grandma she would love the 29th just as much as the first!”
I am honored that Grandma and her kids have asked me to speak today, but let me confess… putting Grandma into words has been one of the hardest tasks I’ve ever been asked to do. I have asked many of you for input and I thank you greatly. I have prayed, tossed and turned, written, deleted and rewritten again. And still, I may not summarize it all. Simply put, there’s too much about Grandma to fit into this time, but I will try. And what I have forgotten, and the memories you have that you want to share, I hope will be the background music for the rest of this weekend, and years to come.
Let’s talk about the woman Grandma was:
Grandma was a fabulous cook, wasn’t she? In our home, we have all kinds of little tricks that she taught my mom and me. Together as a family, we have all kinds of recipes, smells, and traditions that started at her stove. Cinnamon Rolls, home-made dinner rolls, Chicken and Noodles, and true home cooked meals around her dinner table or out on the deck just to mention a few. Many of the grands and great-grands like Andrea and Ellie will also remind you of the vanilla and fudge swirl sundae cups she kept at her house. Grandma was never short on love, but she wasn’t short on great food, either!
Grandma was your biggest fan. If I had to guess, I would say that Grandma was present at at least one important event of every person here—and more likely, dozens of events that she may or may not have traveled hundreds of miles to attend. I love that Grandma loved watching us do ‘our thing’—maybe it was a ball game, a recital, a holiday or birthday or graduation, a wedding or shower—for you, your kids or your grandkids-- if there was any possible way Grandma could be there she was. Her love and pride for her family went beyond events though-- I think Becky said it best, “she made me feel special for who I am on the inside...and while she always was proud of her family's enormous personal and professional achievements, she seemed to know that they are really only minor considerations when it comes to the beauty that lies within…”
Grandma was selfless—in fact, probably one of the most selfless people you have ever known or will know. What truly made her happy was getting to experience the joy of the people she loved. When I first consulted my OB about traveling in late pregnancy, I cried. And she said “oh sweety, would this be your grandma’s first great-grandkid?” I laughed. “No, it would be her 29th, but if you know Grandma she would love the 29th just as much as the first!”
Friday, February 5, 2010
Ronel is Home
I have been following this story and just wanted to pass along the good news. Click here to be inspired and join me in thanking God for his story and praying for all the orphans in Haiti and around the world.
On the journey.
Stef
On the journey.
Stef
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
My Heart Hurts
http://www.forhisgloryoutreach.org/
I absolutely can not get this organization out of my mind. I am acquaintances with a family out of Aurora, Nebraska who adopted two boys from this orphanage and sent me an e-mail weeks ago asking for financial donations and prayer. I am an anxious person by nature, and this type of stuff is so incredibly hard for me. My heart just hurts and I feel totally helpless! Surfing around their website brought to me another harsh reality: For every child who has made it to their "forever home" in America or Canada or wherever, there is another child to quickly fill their place at the orphanage. For every child we see smiling on the news at a happy reunion with their adoptive families, there are several more children still in Haiti. Some were orphans before the quake, some were not. Ug.
My goal here is not to be a "Debby Downer," but to call you to pray pray pray for these children regardless of any pending adoption. And in the case that they do have families in the US or elsewhere who are STILL trying to get their children home, please stop and say a prayer for them, too. I learned some interesting things here: I found the story about Ronel particularly interesting from several perspectives, as well as her comments regarding UNICEF.(Ronel's adoptive parents have a blog here.)
I am studying the book of Esther right now and we have been chronicling what it would be like to lose both father and mother. Devastating!
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